Things that didn't happen

Just about every post for for the past year has been about the baby. For a change, this one will be all about me. Specifically, things I've not done since the baby was born. Here's the list I've come up with for all the things I've not done since the baby was born:

• Bought new clothes (for myself).
• Bought new shoes. And mine are really starting to fall apart.
• Seen a movie in a theatre
• Bought anything at a comic shop
• Washed the floors (there's always someone on it)
  
• Played a video game
• Rode a bike
• Gone on a proper holiday
• Gone to Camden Town for anything besides dinner
• Made something new from a cookbook
• Had a meal on the terrace
• Gone to an art museum
• Did something with the leftover materials from the construction last year

And that does not count the number of things I've hardly done since she was born.

Made of straw

The girl's been making a huge mess when drinking lately. She's pretty much given up on the sippy cup and now just treats it a chew toy she can bash food with. We've been giving her water from an actual cup for a couple of weeks. She drinks it, but ends up soaked. We've tried shallow and wide and narrow and deep, but she finds a way to spill most of the glass all over herself and the high seat tray.

Today, on a whim, I tried a straw in the cup. She immediately started chewing it, then spent a few minutes blowing bubbles in the water, She liked that. Then, just as I'd resigned myself to an afternoon of her blowing bubbles in water, she started sucking up the water. The flow was more than she could swallow, so some dribbled out. But for the first time in weeks she drank a whole cup of water without drenching herself.

Of course a few minutes later she realised she could take the straw out and play with it. But that just means I have to hold the straw in the cup. For now (I hope).

She ended up drinking over 250ml after dinner. Which means I think we're in store for some very wet nappies overnight. Mixed blessing that.

Intent

Just a small note today. The lass has been quite awkward to get to sleep for the past several days. Last night we tried to get her to sleep in the cot several times before giving up. We ended up just holding her while watching a documentary.

Eventually she just started fussing again, but more so this time. So I asked her What do you want? I stood her on the floor and held her hands and let her lead me.

She walked straight out of the room, to the stairs and I carried her down those. On the landing, she led me straight to the next stairs (the ones she fell down the other day) and I carried her down those. On that floor, she walked straight past all the doors and right to the next set of stairs. I carried her down those. She walked past the loo and into her room. I turned on the light and she led me to a stool, which she grabbed hold of, finally letting go of my hands.

I've never seen her so directed. This was not explore mode, but Don't you get it, I'm tired and want bed mode. It's good to know she's gotten to the point she can express herself to us. In a vague sort of way.

Out and about

Yesterday I got to live the life of the "yummy mummies" that live in the neighbourhood. L and I had a nice long lunch at a local cafe with one of our neighbours. The neighbour brought her 3 month old, we brought our 10 month old. We sat there chatting for over two hours.

This is one of the reasons I was attracted to this area. So many places I could hang out during the day that would be baby friendly. This is pretty much the first time since I've moved here I could take advantage of it. It took ages to recover financially from the move two years ago. So that summer and fall had us going out very little. Finally, this week we had the combination of it being warm, and me having the day off. I liked it. It's given me insight into what life would be like if L got a job and I was the stay-at-home parent. The idea is appealing. Though I wonder if it'd completely wreck my career.

After lunch and a nap from the girl, I went to meet coworkers who also had off today. I brought the lass, partly to give L time to get some work done, and partly because it's nice to get more time with her, and also partly because my coworkers really like her.

She was her usual charming self. Enjoying all the attention and playing with anyone who'd give her the chance. I'm really glad she does not get separation anxiety. It meant I could hand her off to people to get a break and have some non-baby conversation time, while not having to worry or leap across the room to fix a meltdown.

I also really liked showing off her skills. I'm proud of this lass and enjoy the praise she gets. I wonder if that's the road to becoming one of those parents?

On the buses on the way home, the girl tried to catch the eye of everyone she could. I ended up chatting with the woman sitting next to me on the first bus, and smiling a goodbye to the couple sitting behind me on the second. Similar stuff happened to me on the tube yesterday.

This is really unusual for London, and rather shocking to me. Just chatting to random people who just happen by. This happens pretty much every time I take the girl anywhere. I kind of like it. I suppose I'll miss it when she's older. I doubt I'd be able to do this without a baby in tow.

Now we play

Last week I took the girl to a playgroup at the local leisure centre. L had taken her there once before, and this was my turn to take the girl for a bit of early morning public play before heading off to work.

The wee one is still partly on east coast time, so I had to wake her before getting out of the house. I suspect that's why she didn't really seemed to enjoy herself. She spent almost the whole time staring at the other children. Very little excited her. She'd grudgingly accept walking around, playing with balls, or attempting to share with other kids. For the most part she'd just sit and take in the environment.

The play time is about 45 minute long and is for up to 15 age 5 and unders. I think there were about a dozen kinds, mostly between 1 and 2. It was free play on soft platforms and shapes or in a ball pit. Followed by about 10 minutes of singing. Mostly songs I did not know. Or songs I couldn't do the hand motions to (There's a hand gesture for …washed the spider out…?).

I spent most of the time teaching the lass how to safely get off of platforms. She was doing quite well. Until she fell over while I was putting on my shoes at the end. Great. Always fun to be the incompetent parent who has to console his crying child for getting her hurt while he wasn't looking. At least my embarrassment was reduced since most people had left by then.

I was pleasantly surprised the thing wasn't as mothercentric as I was expecting. There were two other fathers there. There was nothing inherent in any of the play or facilities that precluded a father taking their child. The only problem was the mensroom with the changing table was locked and the normal mensroom was a changing room with showers – too wet and dirty to change the girl in. But there was a reasonable changing room upstairs that was clean and free. The only problem was it had no toilet, so I could not EC the girl.

Note to all restroom designers. Always put a toilet in the room with the changing table. It's good to have a clean place to put the baby to reclothe them after they go to the loo.

I'll likely go again. At least a few more times and see if the girl actually takes a liking toward it. I'm sure she'd have fun if she were more awake for it. We'll just have to wait and see.

Yesterday I took the girl to the local park. After her accident the other day, I was very conservative on the play. Don't play there, you'll get sand in your wound, We can't play on that, you might hit your head and reopen your wound. She did enjoy the swing and the seesaw. Though on the seesaw, I was holding on to one leg the whole time. I was no fun at all. I'm hoping the paranoia ends soon.

Falling down

The girl had her first A&E trip on Saturday. A momentary flicker in her stair climbing skills sent her down 3 or 4 steps and headfirst into a bookcase. I was in the nursery at the time when I heard the crash and various screamings. I ran out to find L holding the girl, her face covered with blood.

We took her to the bathroom to clean her up. All I could find were nappy liners to wipe away the blood. I was relieved to find what looked to be a flap of skin was actually the blood soaked on her eyebrow. Then L uncovered the actual wound – a 2cm vertical gash in the middle of her forehead. Again, a bit of a relief since a cut forehead I could deal with. L didn't see it that way and started to panic more since we clearly had to get to hospital. She suggested we call 999. I hesitated for bit, but the girl seemed to be getting worse.

After that is a blur. I remember talking to someone on the phone, and the girl starting to go into shock and droopy eyed while shaking, I don't recall what order things happened.

L sat on the toilet seat holding the baby's forehead wound shut with her hand, while trying to keep the girl still. I went downstairs to open the front door for the paramedics when they'd come. The doorbell wasn't working and I didn't want to miss them. Then I went back upstairs when I saw the drops of blood all over the floor. I don't know what part of my brain took over, but I used some of the remaining nappy liners to clean up trail of blood from the bookcase to the bathroom.

The paramedics arrived after about 10 minutes.
By this point, her shaking had stopped, and she seemed more alert. Less crying and more wriggling, making it harder to hold the bandage. Fortunately, most of the bleeding had slowed to a mild ooze.

The wee one clearly decided, Oh, company, stopped crying and started charming the paramedics. First thing, they taped a bandage to her head. Then many tests were given, checking this vital and that. The girl was clearly quite interested in what was going on. Playing with the monitors and lights when the let her.

Then they suggested we get shoes and phones and keys and get in the ambulance to go to hospital. I remembered enough to get the nappy bag, the sling and my travel card for when I had to get home afterwards.

I really should have brought a jumper. It got cold in the evening.

On the trip to hospital the wee one calmly played with the blood oxygen monitor, nary a peep. In fact, she'd not cried since the EMTs got to our place. All day, the EMTs and nurses and doctor kept saying how if they did x she would cry. She didn't not when they took her vitals, not when they cleaned the wound, not when they glued it shut. I'm not sure if that means if she's hardcore and can take it, or is just well dispositioned.

After being seen by the triage nurse and having the girl's vitals taken, we sat in the waiting room. There were 4 other children ahead of us. L first used the downtime to go to the washroom and get all the blood off of her. Then she fed the girl. That's when the wee one started crying. Turns out she'd bit her tongue in the fall, and it was still bleeding.

We got seen about 2 hours after the fall. The doctor came in, looked at her and said a nurse would glue her wound together. And rather than explain anything to us, he said we'd be given a So your baby had a headwound pamphlet on the way out.

Ouch!

After he left, a nurse comes in and says she's going to get the glue and stuff to clean her head, and that she wanted to take the child with her. I was a bit shocked that they though that it would be ok for someone I'd never seen before to come in the room and take my child away. I mean she was dressed as a nurse, but anyone could do that.

So I let her take the girl, but followed her, and was relieved when everyone at the nurse station said hello to her as she passed. There was no actual need to take the girl, so I really wonder why the nurse wanted her with while she rifled through the storeroom. Perhaps for a bit of a cuddle? I'm guessing so the baby got used to her before she did potentially painful things to her. I have no idea. But that was the part of the process that disturbed me most.

Anyway, the nurse cleaned her wound and applied the glue. It looked like Krazy Glue. Just a thin clear liquid that dried pretty much instantly. Given how well Krazy Glue bonds skin, I'm not surprised the finally came up a medical equivalent. They say it shouldn't scar, but I'm dubious. The cut looks huge on her forehead. Then again, when I hold my arm next to her and imagine the cut on my arm, I'd probably just put a big plaster on it.

We were out of hospital and back home just over 3 hours past the initial accident. So it all went pretty fast (we took the bus home, and were rather cold from the lack of forethought to bring jumpers). Ever since I've been treating the child very carefully. Avoiding having anything touch her forehead or anything get near her head that she could bump. That's going to be hard. I just want to keep her safe until the cut heals.

We've really got to come up with a better solution for how to get the girl to hospital. I'm not going to buy a car for the occasional emergency journey. A minicab probably wouldn't take someone screaming or bleeding. Maybe something like zip car? The bus is not an option. There's a direct bus to one hospital, bus it's far and takes 50 min. The closest hospital has no good way to get there. It's only served by busses that come every 15-20 minutes. I'm not going to take a wounded child on a bus. What do other people do?

Now we are different

This is not the same girl went on holiday with two weeks ago.

We came back a few days ago. Over the period we were gone the wee one has levelled up quite a bit.

She's now producing a stream of babble. Before she could say a few syllables, sometimes in combination. Now I'm pretty sure she's saying what she thinks are words. Every now and then she'll repeat something back someone says to her. That's the best part – not necessarily her understanding, but her clearly interacting.

She's learned to point. Finally my point vs poke training has come to fruition. She'll point at something of note and say Dat!, which I can only assume means What is that?So I always answer her with That's a painting or That's a mirror or That's toilet paper.

She gotten lots of other hand movements. She was waving before we left. She's regressed a bit on that, but she's started waving again a couple of days ago. She also enjoys shaking hands. At least she'll stick out her and and let you shake it. She'll also put her hands on her hips. I can't tell if it it's intentional, but she often has a bit of a stern look about her when she does it.

Stairs. She can go up and down stairs now. All the shallower carpeted stairs at her grandparents' and my uncle's places really helped. She's since been able to go up an entire flight of steep wooden stairs at our place. She's much slower and hesitant in going downstairs. It's basically, sit on the stair facing out, dangling her feet over the edge until she's practically standing on the step below. Then she stands on the stairs below, holding on to the bannister.

She's not quite standing. Well, she doesn't think she can stand. She can stand holding on to things, or leaning against something. But she'll only stand unsupported for a few seconds before she realises and sits down. But a controlled sit, which is good.

She still can't walk on her own, but she walks quite well when holding hands. Or using a walker. Or box. Or anything draggable that's big enough to lean against. She's far more comfortable with it than when I walked her through her first queue at the start of the holiday.

All this progress seems to have come at a price. She's sleeping very lightly now. It seems like any movement near her will wake her up. She will wake up without crying, sometimes, which is nice. But she's still awake and really hard to get back to sleep.

She's also not eating much. she'll breastfeed like a champ, but she's hardly eating any solid food we put before her. Even roast mushrooms, her heretofore favourite, are summarily tossed on the floor.

I'm hoping that goes away soon and we can get her to bed and stay asleep without too much effort. I've been a bit dozy in the brain the past couple of days at work.

In other news, I found an article online which explains the whole "fine with just one child" thing far better than I did the other day. Must be something in the air to cause both of us to post the same thought at the same time.