Binge watching TV is something we don't do much anymore. Before having kids, we'd sometimes burn through 4 or 5 episodes of a boxed set between dinner and bed. These days, if it's kid friendly we can do one a day, but anything more mature is more like once or twice a month. So when we sat down to watch Firefly by ourselves, it was just relaxing to just sit and vegetate.
At quarter to 10 at night, while watching Episode 8, L's waters broke. We'd had a few false alarms on the water breaking so far (it was August and a bit hot. Sweatiness can be confusing). This time we were sure. No doubt about it. This baby was on the way.
We had to get ready. We paused the show while we cleaned floor and took stock. It could be fast or slow. I went to prepare the bed, and get the battery and electrodes for the TENS machine.
At this point the weight of it all finally hit me. After years of trying all the false starts had taken their toll and I was emotionally drained. And up until this point the whole thing felt more virtual than real. Like the whole pregnancy was happening in a mirror and I was only just watching through the hard glass. I'd met all the ups and downs so far with a detached Oh, that's interesting.
But that was over and it was now time to be present. So I burst into tears and had a good long cry.
With the house ready and my head finally in the right place I went back to join L on the sofa to watch the rest of the show.
A couple of episodes later, around midnight the sharp pains in L's lower abdomen started. L calls the midwife to let her know and they both agree it's probably not contractions. Human abdomens contain lots of things that can cause pain, not just birthy-things. I make a coffee just in case, because this night will need focus.
Coffee is not really working, because I keep dozing off during episode 12. The pains don't turn into contractions – things are not going the same as last time. We’re in somewhat new territory here.
Around 2:30, something more like contractions start. L starts, then soon gives up trying to monitor the contractions with her watch. It's pretty simple. Could we write an app to do it?
Yes… but now isn't a good time. Let's just download one. I’m sure we can find something.
Many somethings it turns out. A nicely rated app called Contraction timer won the random draw. After ten minutes of monitoring we were definitely in Zone. At 2:59, L calls the midwife and catches her up to the situation.
Are you sure you want us there?
We look at the app
We've had 5 contractions in 20 mins. Yes.
We'll be there in about an hour
So back to the videos we go while we wait. We watch episode 13 – the birth episode – all the while tracking the contractions.
At 4:20, ten minutes shy of the end of the last episode the midwives arrive. I hit pause, turn off the display and get the door. There's two midwives, the one we’ve been seeing (yeah, continuity) and a midwife we've not met before. They immediately get to business and bring the bags in.
I started the kettle for some tea, and got out the biscuits. I'd even bought some milk so there was something to put in the tea (we don’t use milk for anything, but I thought it important to keep these people happy and attentive and thinking good things about us). They had some of the tea and biscuits, but I don't think they actually finished any.
They got on with explaining what they were doing and telling us to get in the right mood. Plus paperwork. I remember papers and piles of things on the table. Oh, and being told We've not got a record of telling you about all these risks, let's list them all now.
As if we could possibly change our minds now.
The midwives spent most of their time whispering to each other. I know it’s meant to stay out of our way, and keep us in control. But half the time it felt like What are we doing wrong that they judging us about?
and the other half felt like it was the soundtrack for a spooky film.
At about quarter til 5 we decide we’re on the home stretch. They checked the cervix and it was only a little dilated – 4cm, I think. Not enough to say "This is it!" but enough to know things are on their way. At this point we bothering with the contraction timer and start trying for mood music. I get out the laptop which has the labour playlist we created for R, but never used. iTunes failed. It crashed over and over. Never got through a single song. Technology failed us.
At to keep the trend going, at this point the TENS machine gives out. I hunt for replacement batteries which surprisingly were in the place I remembered putting them, just in case. Thank you, younger me.
At around sunrise L is no longer comfortable on the sofa so we head to the bedroom. It feels like it's time, but the cervix is not dilated enough, so clearly we’ve some ways to go. How much can I dilate in a single contraction?
Dunno. I Can't see why you can't do a cm per contraction. So 4 contractions and we'll be ready.
L got on all fours on the bed. A few feet away from the waterproof sheet I'd put on the bed earlier (we’d only bought the mattress a few months ago). But, damnit, I was not going even suggest moving.
This is when the painful contractions start and L really felt the need to push. After 4 contractions the baby was crowning. It took two more before he came out.
And there he was.
A few moments later, he cried. The first few breaths were all gurgley with the sounds of the remaining amniotic fluid. Each cry has less and less gurgle until the fourth cry was clear.
Unlike R who was blue at first, he was red. And he looked so different from her when she was born. He was huge, a full kilo heavier than R, and it showed in the chubby limbs.
In a slightly organised chaotic way, L rolled onto her back, lay down and held the baby on her chest. He immediately started feeding. The midwife rubbed his skin to help moisturise it with the vernix. I lay in the bed (on top of the unused waterproof part) next to L, both of us happy and holding our newborn son. The birth had been perfect.
It stayed that way for about an hour.
To be continued
