The following may be considered TMI and is not for the easily squicked. You are warned.
It occurs to me that the whole reproductive lifecycle of women is about breaking things. First there's the hymen. Then there's the water breaking at the start of labour. Then there's the vaginal tearing at birth. I can kind of see the point of the water breaking, but the rest just strike me as permanent body modification triggered by incidental events. Why should the body irrevocably change based on something that it's supposed to do? I mean after a period, the uterus heals up again to prep for the next one. It doesn’t just fall out, and there! no more uterine lining for you!
Men just do have anything like that. Body changes are gradual. Hair (for most men) doesn’t all fall out at once in clumps – it just slowly thins. I don't have anything personal to compare to, so I have to rationalise the whole thing. I have to build a model in my head of how it works so it makes sense (curse my academic background).
I can kind of see the point of the vaginal tearing — in a State of Nature kind of way. I mean, women don't really need their bits to be able to pass a baby's head until they're actively reproducing. So if it tears enough to not be able to heal on its own, it just leaves a wider hole for future use. It makes a kind of sense, though it doesn't sound very efficient. I don't see why the bits can't just prepare and stretch in time for birth, rather than just breaking when push comes to shove. The cervix is polite enough to dilate before birth. It doesn't break open. Why can't the perineum become all elasticy in the last month or so? I'd think stretch marks on the undercarriage would be sufficiently acceptable alternative.
Perhaps, as a male, I just don't get it. Perhaps women are used to all the breakings and tearings and bleedings from their genitals that all the breakings around birth is just one more thing for them.
TMI also. TMI TMI TMI!
ReplyDeleteNot everyone tears or tears to the same degree. Most of it's the luck of the draw - just anatomy of mom and baby. I didn't tear really at all, but I also had two smallish babies, short labors, and a weak cervix.
Episiotomies are not routine anymore unless there's a serious problem. That is, depending on the doc you get. The reason I got a midwife for preg 2 was because I wanted to know exactly who was going to attend my birth and that we'd chatted beforehand. 'Cause if you have a hospital practice, you get whoever's there at the moment, and you're at their mercy, which they tend to have very little of. (Lesson learned from birth 1.)
Look up perineal massage. Also, pushing slowly and steadily over time rather than with all one's might at once (if she's in a position where that's possible) can reduce tearing. Position can help too. Birthing supine isn't the most efficient position. Squatting can move things along more rapidly. Bouncing on an exercise ball is fandamtastic for that.
So the trick is when you get to the ring of fire, hold the head there (ow ow owie, but better than the alternative) to let things accommodate for a sec then slowly slooowly push the head out. Then you have to do this again for the shoulders then after a bit for the placenta if it's big. Those are the three big bumps to deal with.
Also, they say (I don't know for sure) that tearing is reduced if there's no epidural, because the woman can feel what's going on and moderate pushing accordingly. Makes sense.
Evening Primrose oil taken orally after 37 weeks (not before) can help soften the cervix and reduce the need to push as hard.
That your mileage will vary is about all you can count on. But you can prepare.
Perineal massage +++
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your last statement..
ReplyDeleteNo. Really No. And I think I got off easy as it all healed up nicely....
Let's see...with a C-Section, they cut you open and then PULL everything apart, out, and apart. Then sew, stuff it all back in and sew it up. I suppose that doesn't really count as TEARING, but it's kind of interesting if you watch it upside down on the reflection of the operating room light. So let's hope that tearing of the hyman is the worst that will happen if it does happen to happen...happen (sorry, just had to write it one more time for posterity).
ReplyDelete