We actually got a chance to go over the birth plan with a midwife. Well... sort of. I held the birth plan in my hand, asked questions and made notes. The midwife had some practical suggestions for things to have on there that we'd not considered before.
The new birth plan is just a modified version of the one we had for R but never go to use. So we've deleted some of the parts we now know to be useless ("maximum possibility of enjoyment") and added some things we now know are useful ("fresh o batteries for Tens machine"). The midwife suggested some terribly practical things we'd not have thought of:
- 7 towels (why 7? does each have a specific purpose? Or do they know that if they ask for less they'll get none?)
- parking permits
- a hand mirror (for checking on progress without making L move)
- portable lamp (for the same reason)
Also she gave us instructions for what to do if the baby comes before the midwives arrive. It's pretty much: call 999 so you have someone to guide you, then make sure to catch it and keep it cuddled til someone arrives.
So every few days we make some edits to the Plan, then print it out again so it's nice and legible. And repeat. In the end well have some well formatted and crafted thoughts about the birth, but I suspect it'll just sit on the clipboard in a corner of a room when the time actually comes.
In other news, every day at work I've been treating as my last. It's pretty much Bye. Maybe see you tomorrow.
at the end of every day. So every day I try to have everything wrapped up as much as I can assuming everyone has to carry on on their own without me.
I'm getting lots of questions at work. I get a lot of Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
To which I always answer Yes.
followed by nothing. It's fun to see the awkward pause expand til the person feels the need to say something. I always explain how we've got so much time after their born to fill their world with gender. It's nice to have these few months in advance of that to just be nicely gender neural avoiding gifts of bright pink or with guns and sports equipment.
The other question I get a lot is Are you excited?
How do I answer that? I mean, not excited. Nervous? Apprehensive? I could just say that all the miscarriages took more of a toll on me than I thought and I'm still kind of numb on the inside. I want to be more excited, but not being excited also keeps away the spiraling disappointment of when things go wrong. But it's not a direction most people want that question to go. So, in reality, I usually either say Yes
or, in the more unguarded moments It's been a long road getting here.
I suppose it's like my stock answer to Do you want a boy or a girl?
, which is A live birth
. I'd just like to get to the point where things are ok and we can get on with being an expanded family.
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