Marching on

Saturday is my first march with the daughter. We'll be going to the Women's March on London. It's not our first protest together. That was the Pro-Choice Protest in Bedford Square in 2012. She wasn't even walking yet. She was just all wrapped up in her sling and holding a little flag promoting choice.

On Saturday, she'll actually be walking (or scooting) and she'll know what the march is all about. We've explained to her that some people just simply have no respect for women and that the rest of us have to show that we will not stand for that sort of behaviour, no matter who it comes from.

I know it's an oversimplification, but we have to start somewhere, and I think that's as reasonable a distillation of the issues as any.

I am marching with her for the same reason I recently dissected a computer in front of her – to show her how it works. To make sure she's understands that it's not a mystery and it's not something other people do for reasons that are beyond her. She might not understand it completely now, but at least she’ll have seen it in action and when she comes across it again, even if she finds it complicated or unpleasant, at least it won't be intimidating.

I am also marching with her to show her that every voice counts. The more people who stand up to be heard, the more likely those in power will be persuaded to do their jobs and represent us. (Perhaps I can read her a copy of Horton Hears a Who before the March). Plus I'm hoping the raw enthusiasm for making the world a better place will rub off on her.

I have my own reasons to march. The fact that I have a daughter is incidental – I'd be out there regardless. Because women are people, and people are not property. Because institutionalised sexism hurts everyone. Being forced by threat of violence from my peers into a strict male gender role was the worst part of growing up, and made me a very bitter an unhappy boy. Women being forced by threat of violence by their peers into a lower paid professions or positions is worse, and makes for less than ideal working environments.

I am marching because my company cannot find female software developers. I haven't even seen a single CV from a woman in my 8 months there. I don't know if the agencies are filtering them out or the overall brogrammer culture of startups gives them shivers long before hitting Apply, or maybe the entire industry has too few women to spare even one programmer for a small size company.

I am marching because I am raising a child, and I want to be able to play a large role in her life despite having a job. I don't want to hear Can't your wife do that? when I need to meet with her teacher or do the school run or look after her during term breaks. I was lucky enough to be a 50% parent for most of her life before she started school. I don't want that to have been being lucky, I want it to be normal. I want careers breaks to raise children to be normal. I am marching so any parent can spend time raising their child without risking their own future.

In short, I'm marching because this matters, and the people we've elected should know better.