Train of why

Last Friday L and I managed to get our first series of Why? questions from the little girl. We were taking a train and L was explaining where we were going and what we would do when we got there. The girl innocuously asked why? I don't think this is the first time she's asked why, but she certainly hasn't done it much. Without giving it much thought, L responded with a simple answer. So the girl asked why? again. And again, and again, I think 4 times total before L and I realised we hit a new milestone! So, we just stopped answering her and got on with transferring trains.

She's not really done this since then – possibly since we caught on to her. I've noticed her asking Why? once since then, but without the trailing refinement queries. But I do expect more and more of this as she get more comfortable with language.

Trapped hand

Today the girl got her hand trapped between the bathroom door and the doorframe. I'm not sure how she did it, as it I was looking away the exact moment it happened. But she managed to find the one spot where she could get her fingers through, but opening the door more would crush them more and closing it would also crush them more.

She calls me out of my distraction by crying Help!. She's got four of the fingers of her left hand stuck past the first knuckle. Her pinky is small enough to be free to move, but the other three won't go past the knuckle. I'm pretty sure they'd started to swell a little. A bit of wiggling the door just makes her scream louder. I call for L to help and we just take turns, one of us holding the girl and the other trying the door, trying to push the fingers back through, or covering them with oil, soap, water or whatever else which'll make them more slippery (I'm pretty sure the oil and soap cancelled each other out).

Nothing works, and the doors won't unscrew from the wall without opening fully. L goes to see if the neighbours have a crowbar while I consider calling 999. The downstairs neighbours add some more consolation and distraction for the girl. L, while one of the neighbour's is fetching tools, gets some tin snips. I think there's nothing those will cut through, but she just sticks them in the space between the door and frame and twists, just enough to bend the wood and free the girl's hand. Just in time for the neighbour's toolbox to arrive.

She comes out, right into my arms and I hold her till L gives her a consoling breast feed. I feel her hand in case anything is broken, but she does not seem to feel any pain. L asks her to make zero and five, that is making a fist and extending her fingers. Which she does without complaint. So it seems she came out unscathed.
For the next hour she would repeat Hand stuck. Door. quite a bit. And any time she got her hand near a doorframe, L and I would lunge at her and grab her away.

Another scary childhood milestone. This one without permanent damage, though I do hope it means she won't do it again.

Upgraded girl

The girl came back from her time away not quite a completely new girl. But she's certainly much more chatty. When we left, she had a few words, but was gaining about 5 new words a day. When we stayed with L's cousin he spent a while showing her various youtube videos of cats. She combined her first two words for him when she later pointed at his computer from the hallway and said Watch cats.

That was just the start of it. Now that she's back, she'll at least try to repeat back any word you say to her. At least a couple of syllables of it. She's started on the alphabet and numbers, though she really only remembers a few of them at this point (5 and Q seem to be her favourites, though G and 6 are a close second).

Taking her to the loo is much easier, since she tells us when she needs to go. And she's only missed a few times in the past month. The downside is she's learned that if she tells us she needs to go, we'll stop what we're doing (often driving on the motorway) and take her to the loo. It seems 3 times out of 4 she just wants a change of scenery. This meant a 6 hour drive up north took over 8 hours, with us stopping every 15 minutes at one point.

We went to a music festival a in April. One of the bands had a little girl a couple of months younger, but about as developed verbally. While they were doing their sound check, the two girls played with each other. It was the cutest thing. Their girl kept shyly handing mine a stuffed tiger, which mine would play with and hand back. This was a really weird experience for me, since I've been a big fan of this band since I was a teenager listening to them on the radio on my way to school. And here I was giving them tips on ear defenders while our children played together.

They then had a little game. Their girl was wearing a shirt with cats all over it. So my girl would poke her on a cat and say cat, and the other girl would poke back and say shirt. This went back and forth for ages. Until my girl got a little pushy with her poking, and knocked the other girl over, making her cry.

I'm at least consoled by the fact that my girl expressed concern when the other girl was upset. Part concern and part confusion. I'm not sure she entirely made the connection that her rough playing caused the problem. It's something I really need to watch out for. She does sometimes slap or hit us with things – which we're very stern about telling her off for doing. But it's much worse when she does it to another, younger, baby – which rarely happens, but mostly through lack of opportunity than anything else. I'm trying to find ways to get her to, if not actually have empathy, at least behave as if she does.

Confused identities

I went to a gig the other day. I ran into someone I knew and started talking. He was trying to place where he knew me from and asked:

Are you the one whose house we went to that time where we all were drunk and ended up at an after party at yours?

Was there a small baby there? If not, I'm pretty sure you're thinking of someone else with the same name.

Perhaps that statement could have been true if it were more like Did we go to your house when we were all tuckered out after the playground and we ended up at yours drinking tea while the kids napped?
Someone else pointed out we'd met at a vegetarian restaurant and I was the one spending the whole time trying to feed and contain my daughter.

Also slightly related, I've discovered I still have the new parent stand-and-sway. Which does not come across as remotely inappropriate when watching a band play.

Exercise in enunciation

While the girl was easing breakfast, she decided to say pəpaaɺ. I decided it was good time to teach her the difference between words to she's clear on what she wants.

I held up a piece of paper, saying paper clearly enunciating the A. Then I held up a pepper grinder, saying peper, making the E clear. Then I pointed to the browser on the computer saying PayPal, trying to make the difference between R and L more obvious.

She did repeat each one back at me, barring PayPal, which she just said Pal. Of course, once I stopped, she reverted to the ambiguous pəpaaɺ. And, of course, once I finally gave her a piece of paper and crayon to play with, she grabbed the squeegee and ran to the stairs to clean them with it

She's also started a habit of adding -ee to words. sockie for socks. Doggie for dog. Bucky for bucket. Duckie for ducks. Pocky for pockets. She also started using panties for pants, which actually does mean what she means, so that's ok.

Back again

I spent a fortnight without the family last month. L took the girl off to the States to help L's sister give birth. I stayed at home putting in exceptionally long days trying to get work done. All the while I learned a number of things.

• Wow. Sleep is nice. But when you're alone in bed, it's really quite slow to warm up. I took to sitting on the duvet an hour before bedtime so that I'd not have to sleep with a jumper on.
• Without anyone else here, I never spend any time in the kitchen/dining room beyond actually making food. With the family here, I spend good chunks of my day here (where I'm writing this now), eating meals, playing with the girl, etc, etc. Then maybe I didn't spend as much time here because L took the laptop with her.
• Cooking for myself is easy. I can use as much spice and salt as I want. Though I have lots of trouble judging what a portion size for one is. I think I overate alot.
• I gravitate to later hours. By the time the family came back, I was keeping EDT time rather than BST. Dinner at 11pm, bed by 5am. Which meant we were all jet lagged when they returned.
  We'd Skype once or twice a day, which is what led me switch time zones. Chatting with L after she ate dinner was usually around 3am or so my time. And chatting in the morning so I could see the girl was around 7am or so her time (on a good day when the girl didn't wake her at 6am when the sun came up in their curtainless room).

While they were away I was able to make the flat slightly more liveable. I replaced another 3 bulbs (we have lots of those GU10 halogen bulbs, most of which have blown out. We're slowly replacing them all with much more expensive LED ones. It seems that the only place I can find with decent bulbs is ordering then online on Amazon, but 1 in 5 are dodgy and have to be sent back. Sigh. So we're just lacking now on the dimmable bulbs, which are really expensive and often have a rather dodgy definition of what "dimmable" means) – I bought 4, but one was bad. But we've now got one more room which use tens of Watts instead of hundreds of Watts.

I tried to do some DIY, but I just did not have it in me to drill holes in our nice walls and counters. So I left that for L and just settled on cleaning the stuffs with all those noxious chemicals I don't like to use when the girl is around. That said, I didn't manage to clean and seal all the floors since, 1) no one likes a neighbour who hoovers at 10pm, and 2) to really clean all the floors, I'd have to move an awful a lot of very heavy furniture.

I even got to work on my physio – something I just can't seem to do with the girl around. My right arm has been some degree of dodgy for several months now. At least now it's not debilitating, but it's clear I've lot lost a lot of flexibility and buggered my posture a bit (I bend down a lot). At least my extensors pollicis longus have had a chance to heal. They take the brunt of the weight when I lift up the girl, and have been getting ouchier and ouchier over time.

When L and the girl came back, they flew into Heathrow. I took the tube down to meet them. Their plane was delayed a bit, and it took what felt like ages for them to get their luggage and come out. It was a surprisingly teary reunion. Well... on my part. The girl was just a bit confused and clung to her mum, and didn't really pay much attention to me. Not as exciting as I'd hoped, but I was far more choked up by the whole thing than I expected to be.

Since then the girl has been really clingy to her mum. It's harder to settle her, and I can barely put her to sleep at all. We've not had a single night where she's slept by herself the whole time. I think she's still getting over all the chaos of the past month, with all the new things she's been doing and places she's been staying. Well, we have a month at home before going anywhere else. Hopefully she'll get used to hanging out with me again. We've already had a few pleasant days out, and I've planned a few more. So, even if things are not the same, it'll still be fun.

By the way, their trip to the US was successful and I have a new niece (that I've only seen over Skype).

Holding hands

We spent a long weekend away on holiday, doing a good deal of travel by car. For the first time, the girl has been comfortable holding my hand. I don't mean sort of holding like grabbing onto a finger, or guiding while walking down a street, but actual hand holding – the idle sort you do when you're just being comfortable with someone's presence.

When in the car, I usually sat next to her in the back seat, with her in the car seat. Not always, but often enough the girl would sit quietly and hold my hand. It was the first time she'd done that. It was really sweet.

It was also the first time in ages I'd had time to just sit down and watch TV with L. We were staying with L's cousin. A few times after we'd put the girl to bed we'd plop down in the comfy chairs and watch something. The weird thing was holding L's hand. I didn't recognise it. It still fit, fingers interwoven, like it has for ages. It just somehow it didn't feel familiar. I mean, we must have held hands at some point since the girl was born. I'm fairly sure, at least. Maybe her hand has changed... I know mine are much drier these days – all the extra handwashing has taken a bit of a toll. Maybe that's what feels unusual. It's hard to tell. But regardless, it was nice to have those moments to just sit together.

L has taken the lass with her to visit the family in the States. I'm back here in London getting, what I hope will be, a lot of work done. And, with luck, give the house a decent tidy – the first real opportunity to clean it without the girl being around. Time to break out the noxiously fumed floor cleaners.