Singing something new

Bedtime has always been trouble. Ever since day zero it’s been hard for me to get the girl to sleep. She just has such a hard time letting go and relaxing. So much fidgeting and distractions.

When she was very young bouncing up and down helped a lot. I’d hold her in my arms and bounce with my knees, about a hundred or so times while either counting or singing. It wouldn't always work, but at least it helped my horrible horrible knees improve, at least a little. Of course I can’t do that now. She weighs too much to hold until she falls asleep.

The other trick which works to a degree was our Bowie bedtime playlist. Life on Mars was the first song she ever fell asleep to own her own volition. So we made a set of that and 5 other early Bowie songs to help her get to sleep. We've been using that with minor variations for 4 years now. The only notable change is I dropped I'm Afraid of Americans once the girl started paying attention to the lyrics. I use the playlist to measure how long it takes her to fall asleep. The worst bedtimes the playlist loops 4 or 5 times.

1. Life on Mars
2. I'm afraid of Americans
3. The Man who Sold the World
4. Space Oddity
5. Changes
6. Starman
7. Ashes to Ashes

She also likes being sung to. I've tried a number of songs over the years. There are 3 staples plus another few backup songs I use. But she's refused all of them at bedtime for several months now.

A couple of weeks ago she asked for me to sing her something I've never sung her before. I reached into my lyric-poor memory and pulled out one of the backup songs I'd not sung her since she was two, This Corrosion. She stopped me once I got to the chorus saying No. Something you've never sung to me.

So, my hindbrain just pulls out of some dark corner of my memory The Ballad of Gilligan’s Island. Which was weird, but it went down well. Sort of, her reaction was straight of Galaxy Quest - those poor people. I had to explain it was just a sea shanty and it's purely fictional.

Were you there?

No. It's just a story from before I was born.

How did they live? Did they build huts?

Yes. Huts. They lived on the Island for a number of years, but they got rescued and returned to California where they all were from. But it had all changed, and they had trouble adjusting.

Oh. Sing me another song you’ve never sung me before.

My brain was a bit more cooperative this time, and provided me a song I'd not sung her sing she was 6 months old, Enjoy the Silence. She loved it. She hugged me every time I sang All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here in my arms. And she was out like a lamp by the time I was done.

She’s asked for it again every night I’ve put her to bed since.

Though she did call it Enjoy the Patience the first time she asked for it.

And I've never had to sing it to her more than twice to get her to sleep. I've not had to put on the normal bedtime playlist once. It's scary that it works. I'm now having an easier time getting her to bed than L does, which is freaky weird. Really freaky weird. So at this point, every night I'm terrified that this time it'll fail. But I also love the fact that she loves the song so much, and squeezes me when singing along to … here in my arms… It's delightful.

I've also introduced The Sun and the Rainfall and will probably pull in other Depeche Mode songs from A Broken Frame if this starts to fail. Which it might, since I've probably jinxed it by talking about it. Still – the surprising power of Depeche Mode.

Are clowns just people dressed as clowns?

We were in a car recently with the girl, her aunt and her 2 year old cousin. At the side of the road there were two clowns showing off for tourists. I thought it was amusing, so I pointed out to the girl.

Look. Clowns. Over there,.

What? Where?

The two people with the funny hair by the side of the road.

Oh... I didn't think clowns existed.

Um… Yeah. Clowns exist. They're real. It's not like Sa—I look at her cousin and rethink my approach err, something that people make up, like ummmm. Mythological things. Fairies. Yokai.
People dress like clowns. It happens.

Ok.

Turns out that, when given the opportunity, I wouldn't give away spoilers on Santa Claus to her cousin make up for her aunt giving away the Skywalker family spoilers in
Star Wars.

First day of school

Big first: R started reception today (that's kindergarten for the non-Brits out there). She's in school now. For the next who-knows-how-many years. Somewhere between 14 and 22 (if she's anything like me). So that's going to take a bit of time.

I walked her to her new school today. We did the obligatory stuff. A special breakfast (R2-D2 shaped porridge)). A whole bunch of pictures at home both before we left and then getting on the scooter and getting our adventure on.

We live in Stoke Newington, which is a home to organic free range children. So you can imagine the number of people doing the same thing as me. I passed a family taking pictures of their kids in front of their house. I passed 3 neighbours on the way to the school and saw at least 3 more inside. It felt like being a part of a community, not at all like the middle of a megacity. Weird. Nice, though.

One of the neighbours I passed on the way asked So who is her teacher?

Um... not sure. R, do you remember your teacher's name?

Errrrrr. No.

I should probably find that out, shouldn't I?

Yeah.

A quick SMS back and forth to the wife gave us the name of the teacher, but that didn't help the confusion I faced next.

We got the school and entered into the playground. It was full. Hundreds of children, parents, maybe teachers too. It was a bit chaotic. All I knew is that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I deduced from the scooter lock-up by the gate I should probably get R off her scooter. But beyond that, no clue.

I remembered the confusion I had as a kid for things like this — big masses of people and I was supposed to be somewhere specific in it, doing something. Well, turns out it's just as bad for the parent. I found the line-ups for the years 1-7, but not reception. I eventually found a neighbour and asked, and she told me where to find the reception classrooms. So I just had to dodge the queues and masses of children to make my way to the other side of the school. I picked up the girl and said, hold on tight, and swooshed through to relative calm of the other side.

I didn't need the teacher's name after all. I kind of recognised her from her home visit. So at least I was spared the embarrassment of dropping her off in the wrong class. Just an uncomfortable Am I in the right place? was enough.

They stagger the start day for the reception classes, so each day 6 new people start. Which means today there was R and 5 others. Not overwhelming at all, which is good. I stood around with her, helping her adjust and commiserating with the parents of another child from our street.

Her day was a bit marred by having slept on her neck funny. She woke up in the middle of the night with neck pain. By morning her neck hurt so much she was only comfortable tilting it to one side. So she was far less enthusiastic about the whole thing than I expect she normally would have been. Still, she braved her way through it. And I explained to the teacher to bear with her and she'd be more excited in time.

Her teacher dropped the hint that I should be heading out, so I and the two other remaining parents took off, leaving the kids sitting on a rug about to be addressed together for the first time.

She just turned 4 a month ago. I was 5½ when I started school. So I've no feeling at all for what she must think of all this. She's as ready as anyone else there, but that doesn't change that's it's a lot to take in.

L picked her up after school. By then her neck was ok and she was in a better mood. She spoke of the other children she met and what they played with. So that went well.

Another 3000 or so more days to go.

The planets

So today the daughter and I got to talking about Mars, and how there used to be water but it all evaporated out into space. We then got talking about the formation of the solar system and all the planets and how life formed on earth, and so on. It was really kind of fun.

Then we started talking about Pluto and I showed her the most recent photos of it, and how no one really knew what it looked like two months ago, but now it's all available in great detail.

So from there, we found some youtube videos explaining the size of the planets, the distance between them, how the sun works and so on. She really liked it, especially the ones where the planets sang. So I let her watch a bunch more on her own.

When I came back, she was even more excited about it all. She declared we were gas giants and she was Jupiter and I was Saturn, and her doll was the earth. And mamma was the sun, of course. She told me earth was the only planet with water since Mars didn't have any. I reminded her that Saturn's rings were mostly ice and Europa is entirely covered in frozen water. When I asked if she knew that Europa was a moon of Jupiter she just replied Of course I know that. I was actually a bit surprised that she actually took in everything.

When I put her to bed tonight, she pretended we were in outer space wearing space suits and heading to the bathroom on a space station. She pointed out all the planets on the way there. When she got to bed, I told her there was only time for a very short story. When I finished, instead of asking for another, she asked me to tell her all about the planets. So I started with the Sun (which all planets need for energy – which I'm pretty sure isn't actually true), then on to from Mercury, all the way to Pluto. Since she was still awake I went on to Eris, the Oort cloud (I'd have mentioned the Kuiper belt if I knew how to pronounce it), and comets. She still wasn't asleep, so I brought up exoplanets and that just got her more excited. After that I was grasping at straws. Haley's comet. Solar and lunar eclipses...

One of the last things she said before she dozed off was I learned a lot today.

It made my heart melt a bit.

Superheros

Out of the blue one day the girl says Tell me a story about the hulk.

Now I know that she knows something about superheros. After all Spiderman was fixture at her nursery, with her being shown Spiderman cartoons (I've no idea which ones) on some of the off days. She recognises Superman and Batman and Spiderman and Wonderwoman, but beyond the cape means they can fly I'm not sure she knows what they're all about. All I can tell is that she knows just enough about superheros to understand that they are more like fairly tales or myths.

So I try to explain to her The hulk has anger problems and when he gets really upset he turns into a giant green rage monster. And feels the need to break things around him.
Also, when he gets mad he also loses his grammar and speaks about himself in the third person. He calls himself Hulk instead of Bruce – possibly it's a self esteem thing. So he says Hulk Smash instead of I'm so angry I could break things.

She pauses for a bit and thinks about what I said. And comes back with So after going to the loo he says Hulk wash hands! instead of I need to wash my hands.?

Clearly she seems to have gotten the basics of the Hulk.

Four year olds exposed: What happens one hour after your child wakes before you

What Happens One Hour

After Your Child Wakes Before You

First 10 minutes

She crawls into your bed & snuggles with your partner

The most redeeming factors of having a child is the hugs and snuggles. Needless to say, yours will climb over you to provide those sleepy hugs and snuggles to your partner.

20 minutes

You start getting kicked

As she starts making herself comfortable she adjusts repeatedly. You start getting kicked in the torso and crotch.

Also sometimes she will start singing to herself.

40 minutes

She goes upstairs

After crawling out of the bed and leaving the room, she goes somewhere. Eventually you start hearing thumping noises upstairs and assume she's playing with something.

As the noises get less and less recognisable, you and your partner debate who will get out of bed to find out what she's doing.

60 minutes & beyond

Your alarm goes off

If you're lucky you brought your phone with you so you could turn the alarm off. If not, your partner has the few extra minutes of sleep they argued for broken by trying to find your bloody phone.

Four different breakfast options sit on the table uneaten. Meanwhile, the child still denies she needs the loo.

Things she says, part 2

Another birthday related post. This time of random things she's said over the past year since part 1

starting with some older things...

Rockabye baby inna tree top
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bow breaks the cradle will fall
And baby hurts herself and cries

I need to propalite my frownity in order to be patient.

You need to propalite your frownity?

yes

while playing with fridge magnets

That's an L, your mother's name begins with L

My mother's name is mamma. M is for mamma.

That's not her name, it's what you call her. Her name begins with L.

M is for mamma.

Followed up with me trying to explain how the Knight's song's name is not what it's called

It's time to sleep, you need to lie down. It's time to sleep.

Thank you for offering but I don't want to sleep.

blah blah blah Gooseberry

Gooseberry?

Yes. Gooseberry. It's a type of berry.

Duck cherry. Not gooseberry.

Let's go to the willow trees.

Why do you like willow trees?

Because people don't like willow trees.

When reading the girl a story about a giant

What's that?

A giant.

A giant of what?

Ummmmn ... good point. A troll?

Draw a lake of tears.

Okaaaaay...

And draw a duck in the lake.

Okay

I draw a lake with a duck and a little girl crying

What's she doing

She's crying

Why

You can't have a lake if tears without someone being very very sad and crying.

Oh...

Draw a man to cheer her up.

I want a rice cake!

I'm not going to give you a rice cake

Why not?

You're holding one in your right hand

I'm eating it now. chomp

Dinosaurs say roar

What else to they say?

They say deep voice good day. bow

Then they roar again

When I am an old man I will go in the house. A very big house... And I will eat. I will be very kind.

Watching the Daily show talking about Justin Beiber

No Jon Stuart! No! Stop!

...we stop the daily show

What's wrong?

He's talking wrong

What?

He's talking wrong about people

wrong about people? Do you like Justin Beiber?

Beiber.

---

I slouch in the chair and let out an audible sigh. The girl strokes my hair, looks at me sweetly and says you're welcome"

Then she says sit up straight"

I have a toy elephant that blows air out of its nose.

wait. don't you? What do you blow out of your nose?

Snot!

I catch her drawing on a chair and take away her crayon

you can have the crayon back if you say you're sorry

I'm sorry

do you mean it?

No.

about capes and flying

you need a cape to fly

i have a cape, I can't fly... I mean I can fly on a plane, but the cape doesn't make me fly.

you can fly with a cape... and you can fly on a plane.

What happens if I wear a cape on a plane?

The master of the aeroplane will grab the cape and run away with it. She will snatch it and say that's not a good idea.

And she will say This is not available in planes

What's that flour doing on the road?

I can't see what's she's referring to.

Do you mean flower as in the stuff that grows in a box of soil, or flour the stuff you make biscuits out of?

The stuff that grows into biscuits.

during a conversation about emotions

Do youknow any other emotions?

Slinky!

Slinky's not an —

Bounce. Bounce bounce bounce bounce repeat

and finally

Three little kittens lost thier mittens and didn't know where to find them
Leave them alone and they'll come home dragging their thumbs behind them