A day at NCT

Today was the first NCT class. For the uninitiated, the NCT is the National Childcare Trust a charity which, amongst other things, runs antenatal classes. First off, a whinge from me about while they have student rates, they're only for students under the age of 22. Why even bother having a student discount at that point? why not just call it a young person's discount? How many 21 year old pregnant women do you know that are flush with cash because of they have full-time jobs?

Ok… that rant over, it was an interesting class. All the women were first-time mums-to-be around 34-36 weeks along and seemed to be in the 30 to 40 year old range. It was good to see I wasn't the oldest partner there, and the wife wasn't the youngest or oldest either. I'm assuming the matching up of people in similar circumstances was intentional. The first thing I noticed was how very pregnant all the women looked. I'm used to be around a single rather "full" looking woman, but the extra 6 made for an exercise in comparing bump size and shapes. Some carried small or hid it with their clothes rather well, but most were in the tight or flowy attire that emphasises them as eye-poppingly wow-that's-pregnant. It felt a bit leery to look around and judge everyone like that, but it's really hard to not be amazed at how the body transforms.

A lot of the day was nicely informative. There was stuff I'd not come across before in books or in documentaries. So it was helpful going (still undecided if it was worth going – I'll wait till it's done to decide that). Chatting to a nice sample of other couples who are facing the same issues also helped (Oh, you've not packed a bag yet either, I feel better now). I suppose that's one of the main benefits of the class. So, of the lot of us, there's 1 girl, 2 boys, 2 who don't want to know, and 2 I didn't get around to asking. Most people have decided on at least one name, and no one wants to say what that name is (though people are happy to say what names they've ruled out). There's a roughly even split between the Whittington and UCH, plus one planned for Homerton and one debating between home birth and Homerton.

The bits of the day that felt most awkward for me were the breathing exercises. Partly because I won't be doing it – she will. And partly because I kept having to stop myself from dozing off (see last night). I question the wisdom of, right after lunch, asking everyone to close their eyes, imagine a relaxing place, and breathe slowly. They also suggested trying to match breathing between the two of us in order to be a calming influence. That so can't work for me. I've tried it before. My lungs are literally (according to the peak flow meter) twice the volume of the wife's. So if we try to match breathing I start to suffocate due to lack of enough oxygen.

We're back again tomorrow to learn about pain relief, drugs and suchlike.

Another night out

Last night we went out clubbing. Not sure if it will be the last time before the little one comes, but I'm sure we won't have much time left. The wife sat down pretty much the whole time. She started on a bar stool. Eventually she ended up sitting at the desk chatting with the door staff. A nice perk of the pregnancy is even those working there didn't ask her to get up and move so they could work. The downside was that when the door lass wanted to take a few minutes for a loo break or a quick boogie, we both ended up managing the door, taking dosh, stamping hands, etc. Still it was a fun night out, even though she never got to the dance floor. I did manage to dance to a few songs. I felt I really should make the effort even since I discovered that last time I went out dancing it did wonders for my out-of-wack shoulder.

There was another pregnant woman there – which was nice to see. Usually the wife is the only one. She was only 28 weeks along, and visibly more mobile than the wife. And, of course, we had the usual chat about all things sprogly.

I do have to stop myself from thinking This could be my last night out for a while every time I do manage to go out. I really should be more optimistic. I'd much rather accidentally never go out again than to have to keep pointing out to myself I should make the most of what's before me.

Home Stretch

From today we have 4 weeks to go til the due date. The wife's doing well, though the hardcore pregnancy effects are starting to take hold. Especially the feet swelling. I doubt we'll be doing much in the way of marches anytime soon. Milk production seems to be kicking off. Which means I expect more and more achey breasts.

We saw the midwife today. The wee one is head down, but not yet engaged (thank sod). Heartbeat's doing fine, she's the right bump size. So all seems good.

I'm adjusting my life a bit too. No more work travel. I'm also hoping to get my big work project done before the birth. Due date's the 22nd. Project completion on the 27th. So there is a chance. But I'm also worried that during some important meeting or workshop I'll get a phone call saying "birth in 2 hours" and I'll have to drop everything and run. We're also trying to get all the work on the flat done in time. At least get the home into a liveable state so we can fill it with baby things and stuff. In the meanwhile we're living in the dining room until all the bedroom floors are done. Fun! I've been moving all the furniture in the flat from room to room. Each time I move things I seem to be clumsier and clumsier. Cursed narrow Victorian hallways.

I keep being shocked to realise it's four weeks left. I keep thinking it's five, which is just fine. But when I remember it's four, I kinda head to panic mode. I just need to make sure I don't actually panic.

I do look forward to the kid being around, but also I do like her where she is. It's fun having a mystery wriggle-beast in the wife's belly. Plus no nappy changing yet – I'm not looking forward to that, tho I suppose I'll just deal with it when I can. I've got the intensive NCT classes starting tomorrow. I hope they do actually prepare me for what's in store. I'll be really annoyed if they're no better than reading a selection of books - they're not cheap.

Meet the midwives

Today was the week 34 midwife appointment. Each one seems to be less milestonish than the one before. Today they took blood and urine and blood pressure. All seemed perfectly normal. They didn't bother with weight or anything. They did a quick palpation for the little one's position: head down, back to the right side. Then checked for the heartbeat. Barring the confirmation that she's head down, nothing was particularly interesting there. I can hear the heartbeat myself at this point – so nothing new for me.

Though, now that I think of it, I suppose the wife would like to get to hear it too.

Last week we went down to the open house "meet the midwives" day they do at UCH for people in low risk pregnancies. If you are low risk you can use the birthing centre and are generally just attended on by midwives, seeing a doctor only if things warrant it (and to be discharged). They have the open house so you can get to know them. Or perhaps so they can get to know you and treat you less like an ungrateful incubator when the time comes.

I noticed a few things. First, most of the blokes there looked really uncomfortable. The wife pointed out that none of the other couples did anything like holding hands or showing signs of affection. Another thing – about half the people were late. I shouldn't judge people on things like that, but it annoyed us that we sat through the same questions more than once. FWIW, I was pleased that when the 2nd midwife answered the same thing as the 1st one.

We weren't the oldest ones there. The youngest looked in their late 20s (though it's kind of hard to tell). But it makes sense if you think that only the older 1st time people really care to go out of their way to plan every detail of the birth. I can see how a 20 year old wouldn't be arsed.

Anyway, I am glad I went. I got my tedium questions answered How is parking - Hard. Just pay for a nearby car park; Is there Internet access - No. That sort of thing. And at least none of the midwives give me the creeps, which bodes well.

As a side note, somehow, not long ago, babies became cute instead of annoying. I now go over to friends' places to see or play with them. I'm not quite sure when that started. I know that anytime I see a small child and parents in public I observe them - that I know started after the pregnancy. But it doesn't feel any different than when we were looking for a flat and I noticed and observed every estate agent and for sale sign I saw.

I feel like I'm testing myself. Watching children to see what behaviour I can tolerate and what I still think is inappropriate (and avoidable to a good parent, I'm sure). I do believe I can do this and actually enjoy it, all the while not messing up this girl too terribly.

So much stuff

I think we've got enough baby clothes to last us at least until six months, if not a year or more. We spent today visiting a couple with an 18-month-old. They were getting rid of a bunch of her old clothes.

We came out of there with about 20 kilos of clothes, mostly succeeding in avoiding things pink. The wife thinks pink is vastly overused in girl clothes and is trying to get tasteful things in other colours. Not very easy. For the record, I agree with her, but I'm red/green colourblind, so I hardly notice pink at all, and generally see it as grey or white. The wife is jealous of me.

I managed to teach their child how to shake hands. Well – more appropriately, she learned how to shake hands, because she did all the effort. When we left, I said goodbye and shook her little hand. She then turned to the wife and thrust out her hand for the wife to shake, which she dutifully did. All quite cute, but made moreso by the mother telling me she'd never done that before. Another point for me for teaching a child to do things with their hands.

So we're not set, but were also not screwed if the baby comes early. There's still a lot we don't have – nappies coming foremost to mind. Bottles, dummies, nappy pails, a steriliser... I'm sure there's loads I can add to the list. I should actually make a list. But first I think I'll pack a bag of a couple of days of infant-sized clothes and things to take to hospital with us.

Actually, first I should move all our furniture around so we can redo all the floors in the bedrooms. Then I should pack to go to Berlin.

Baby me. Baby and me.

So I dug out an old baby photo of myself. I must have been maybe 8 months old. It was really interesting looking at it in the light of my new baby-aware eyes.

First off, my ears have not changed one single bit. My nose is unrecognisable for the original, but my ears are so similar that even I can tell, and I don't get much chance to look at my ears.

Next, my hairline is the same. At the age in the photo, my hair was just starting to grow, so it was rather thin. Later in life it got much thicker and grew out. But, since my 30s it started retracting and is now thinner. My hairline has moved back, my widows-peaks pronounced, and bit of thinning in the back. Which is rather similar to how it looked in this photo. Weird.

The lines around my eyes and on my forehead have always been there. No change. Well... maybe a line or two, but not much.p

I spent a long while starting at the photo and comparing it to the wee one's 21 week ultrasound photo. The curves of the head and face are the same. The nose looks pretty similar too. I'd originally though the turned-up nose was wife-ish, but now that I look at my old turned-up button proboscis, perhaps it is like mine (tho, I'm not sure I'd wish the beak it became on her). It's really hard to tell, for obvious reasons. I wish I had a profile shot of the wife as a baby, but they're all head-on, so I can't tell which of us this sonogram more resembles.

Seeing the family

One more trip to go before the baby. Well – one more that I know about, these things can sneak up on you. After we hit 35 week I am staying by the wife's side until the kid is safely born and our lives are relatively stable. We're just coming up on week 34, which means she is considered fully at term and able to pop in as little as 3 weeks!

So this last trip was a cousin's wedding in Boston. It was neat to see all the relatives again. All the cousins of around my age and generation that were there had kids, barring the couple who just got married. So there was a mass of children about. It's been quite a while since I've been around so many children at the same time. Running, playing, melting down, etc etc. It's not as scary as it would have been if I weren't planning to breed. I think I can deal with it.

Some highlights: one young cousin I thought had a fair resemblance to my brother as a wee youngster. I showed the photo to my brother and he said the resemblance is closer to me. So I suppose my brother and I must have looked similar as kids. Also, I paid special attention to my two baby cousins that were 2½ years old. They were soooo different. One was a rambunctious tall blond lass who could not sit still. The other was small(er) dark and quiet. I’m guessing mine will be somewhere on the spectrum between the two.

I went to the wedding alone since the wife is too pregnant to be covered by insurance when flying. And with America being the most costly healthcare country in the world we decided to play it safe and stay home. Then work told me You have to go to Boston for a week. Can it be at the end of May? Sure, go ahead. How could I say no?

While in Boston I looked for toys to bring back for the soon-to-be baby. Small snuggly toys were my preference. I went into one shop and picked up a cuddly looking bear and read the tags to see what ages they recommend it for. It didn't say anything about ages, but it did say which web browsers it was compatible with. That was the moment I gave up and stopped looking for toys.

Note to child — If you're reading this in a few years and have no cuddly toys, now you know why.

Otherwise, the pregnancy is going well. The wee one has been squirming and moving in new and, to be honest, quite odd ways. Very quick and rhythmic – not the slow stretches and shifting I'm used to. Which reminds me, I should read to her some more, I don't want her to forget my voice.